Ray Oldenburg’s article on “Our Vanishing Third Places” in some ways took me back in time. In the article, he says home is our first place, work is our second place, and third places are an escape from both. He describes them as “informal public gathering places” where people can “gather easily, inexpensively, regularly, and pleasurably” close to home.
It made me re-look at the places I’ve spent most years of my life so far. First,my parent’s home where I grew up, then the place I moved in with a friend after finishing college and then our home now in NY. Interestingly, when i think of these places now it’s not the physical space that occurs to me first but, the time, the people, the memories and how well these places fit in with the stages of life. Oldenburg’s concept of third places holds very different meanings for each of these places.
In the years growing up, our patio, neighborhood streets, parks, and shops were the primary places of social interactions. It all centered around children(me, too back then) playing and their parents & grandparents conversing and sharing their lives at the same place. In my 20’s when I started working and moved to a different city, these third place interactions shifted to coffee shops, restaurants, or a friend’s home. Neighborhood common space like parks or interacting with neighbors wasn’t something that resonated with our lifestyles & schedules. There was a shift, it wasn’t anymore about the neighborhood/ community but friends and a convenient location that provided a comfortable space to talk to each other. I’m not sure if these places even qualify the author’s definition of ‘third places’ considering that these were often not close to home and didn’t involve people from the neighborhood community.
When I moved to NY last year the unfamiliarity of the place, it’s people, my own life and lack of friends and family took a toll on my spirit. I found myself lost in the pace and loneliness of the city. The only thing that connected with me strongly was my home and it’s neighborhood. That pace and life was something I could relate to. It gave me solace, just sitting in the park or the waterfront and seeing people take their dogs for a walk or seeing them walk with friends and family gave me a sense of comfort and belongingness for this place. These places, outside the comforts of my home, filled in the void that I was experiencing with the shift. They gave me a chance to see, smile and sometimes interact and become friends with people I once didn’t know, in a community that was once new and unfamiliar to me. In many ways these “Third Places” made me feel ‘home’ yet again.
The different elements you mention (time, people, memories and the stage of life) really resonate with me. When I reflect on the third places I previously spent time at, I realize that these elements were crucial. Much like you, the third spaces I spent time at during college were much different than my current third spaces. Also, my memories of those places are far more important to me than the actual place. Perhaps the place is just a facilitator for what’s most important, person to person interaction and a sense of community.
Sometimes, just sitting on a bench and seeing people makes me feel refreshed. I also used to go to a park and enjoy strolling and running. If we can feel ‘home’ in the 3rd place, the place must be one of the best places. Because there’s no such a thing better than feeling like ‘home’.
I feel third places reflect different ways you can connect with people based on culture and personal experience shifting. And I agree with what Datrianna said above that “memories were more important than the actual place”, so instead of how physical places changes influence the definition of third places, something does change all the time is our way to interact with surrounding people.